12.5 - Loneliness

Yep, I'm bringing this naming scheme back! Is it stupid and inconsistent and doesn't mean anything at this point? Yes! But screw you, this is my blog :3

Aaaanyways. I've been feeling pretty down lately. Who knew that having your entire social life take place online was a bad thing somehow. I just don't feel like i have any real connections with anyone anymore, and am slowly drifting apart from all my friends. To be fair, that's only partially a side effect of pretty much only having online friends. Part of it at least is also me, i think. I wouldn't say im depressed or anything, it just feels like there's not really a point to anything i do. Like, what are my options here? Like, i could write stuff, talk to people, play videogames or whatever but all of that just feels like it's not worth it, somehow. I've been through this type of thing before, and i thought I'd finally be done with it, but it doesn't seem that way. Now it's back, and worse somehow. I... don't really know what to do. I think part of the problem is that I've met pretty much all of my friend circle on ffxiv, so I kind of need to play videogames to socialize, which i don't think is helping my mental health all that much. All of this is just kind of mess. On top of that, exams are coming up too, so yay i guess. Couldn't have picked a more pefect time. Anyways, I'm not gonna get much more into this, I'm already oversharing way too much considering all of this is just some blog im running. I mean, sure, noone reads it, but yknow. I don't really want anyone to be able to connect my online presence to who I am IRL, I've been pretty cautious about that so far, i think. I'd rather just be Kami for everyone stumbling upon this place. All you know about me are the rambly blog posts about stupid stuff, and I'd prefer for it to stay that way. Still, I'm going to post this one. Just kind of felt like getting this off my chest. For any hypothetical readers/friends that are bored enough to visit this place: Don't worry, I'm doing alright. Seriously. I'll still be here for the foreseeable future. You're not getting rid of me that easily! Anyways, that's that.